When Jon starts saying a bunch of stuff that makes no sense, basically declaring that he’s too Good and Pure to kick people who tried to murder him out of their houses, the only political strategist in the entire Stark family pipes up to remind him that he should punish treason and reward loyalty.
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This brings us to Winterfell, where Jon is organizing a dragonglass scavenger hunt in a hall full of Northern lords and assorted Team Jon dudes, and Sansa is silently rocking an extremely modern braid. Imagine getting a new job and then getting dealt Bran as your main co-worker for an entire year. Anyway, now they’re together, which is fun for exactly no one. Unfortunately, the GO GOT scoring system has been simplified, and I’ve lost the ability to give points for good outfits. By the way, Edd looks sharp in Jon’s clothes. The new Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch - our guy, our sweet and loyal pal Edd Tollett - takes them in only after Bran says something ominous about Hardhome and this army of the dead.
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I’m so glad this show can get away with just about anything by way of looking very expensive all the time! Bran and Meera make it to The Wall shortly after Bran has a gross vision ( +20) of an army of wights crawling southward with some new additions - wight horses. I don’t care that it’s from another show.) Image: HBOįrom there, this season premiere takes on the less-exhilarating but, yeah, necessary task of establishing the basic season 7 locations and job descriptions for all our major players.
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I wish there were points for artistry, and that director Jeremy Podeswa were a draftable player. But it’s nice to imagine all the thousands of Tumblr reblogs some lucky young GIF artist will get after they line up Sansa’s season 6 slow walk and grin with Arya’s. The North has been remembering for some time now (the writers blew it as an episode title five years ago, for some reason) and I’m not convinced Arya’s personal vendettas have much to do with what that phrase has come to mean on the show - i.e., that the old houses of the North remember their vows to the Starks, and will band together to defeat the Boltons. Cliffs Notes version: it still remembers, and “Winter came for House Frey.” ( +10) She also delivers an icy (pardon me!) speech about the North. The first scene of season 7 is a points monster, with Arya netting + 50 for using magic to try on Walder Frey’s dead body and hit the +50 points cap for random redshirt kills, effectively getting rid of what remained of the Frey family. I’m sorry about my confusion over this, and over the fact that Arya’s choice of poisonous wine, “Arbor Gold,” is a red, not a white. I’m embarrassed about that, but I think we should start the new GO GOT league from a place of honesty.
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It’s the other one!įorgive me for starting off this year’s Game of Game of Thrones with an admission like this, but I spent the first several minutes of season 7 thinking we were seeing a flashback to a conversation happening in the Twins just after the Red Wedding, and in spite of myself, I hoped something unspeakable: “Are they about to do Lady Stoneheart?” The gang’s all back in town, and it’s time for another season of fights, hook-ups, and eviscerating burns.